My two kids are always bickering at each other. I know, that’s what’s sisters do, but I didn’t expect this much!
The eldest one makes use of her language dominance and responds to the little one with the most elaborated sentences and words she never dreamed of. The little one does not step back, when she looses on the words front, she attacks with no fear, fists closed while closing her eyes and hoping she’ll get her sister somewhere somehow.
The latest issue has been their bedroom. The eldest says all his hers, because she was in the house first. The little one demands her half of everything, including what’s clearly her sister’s.
My eldest is now a teenager and I know she starts to need her own space. My youngest looks up to her sister and doesn’t want to let go one second.
I know this is when many parents would opt to get them separate rooms, but I’m not sure that is the best approach.
When I was a teenager I got my own room. I didn’t ask anyone. I just moved all my stuff to the spare room, that was small and had almost no light. But I felt like I just got my kingdom, my independence, away from my annoying sister. I would spend all my time in the house in my room, except mealtimes. I would get home, say hello to everybody and off to my room. Until that time I was very close to my sister and moving rooms created a distance between us. I know today that my sister suffered a lot with that separation and didn’t understand why I was moving away from her. My mom understood my age required that space and just let me be.
I don’t allow my eldest to spend all time in the bedroom. A few times a day, I go to the room, take all gadgets and say, we miss you, come downstairs to be with us. I’ll give this back later. And she comes. And we have time together and it feels amazing. But as soon as she’s back in her layer, if the little one comes around to stay with her, the shouting starts :” Get off!!!”, “No, this is also my room, I’m allowed here!”, “Mum!!!”, “Mum!!!” It’s driving me crazy. It gets worse when I’m at work and start getting video messages where the eldest asks the youngest to leave the room, and the youngest says no. I can only imagine the shouting in the house and the aupair going nuts with it.
But still, I think they’re better sharing their room. What do you think?
mum's going nuts 
I have two sons aged 17 and 19. The love to hate one another and are so different that having their own bedroom is the only way for any of us to have any peace. They shared a bedroom until they were 7 and 9 respectively. That was the age that their personality clashes began in earnest and they asked if they could have their own rooms. The older spends most evenings after supper alone in his room working on assignments for college, chatting to friends via sms or email or just reading and you-tubing. The younger one watches more TV in the lounge with me but will also disappear to his room to exercise, read or watch music videos on his phone. I like the peace and quiet this brings and allows me to read, write or watch TV on my own in peace. We always eat all meals together.
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I might have to come to some compromise. My two are also quite different.
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That’s what life is all about – compromise.
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My girls share a room, but I don’t expect it to last. For now it’s a case a space though, 3 bedroom house so the girls share one and the other is an office/spare room. If we moved to a 4 bed they would more than likely get their own rooms.
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