aupair · kids · parenting · working mum

The aupair didn’t really fit in…The third


My perfect aupair wanted to leave and start a new life with her boyfriend and I was on the look for a new aupair. She was so perfect, that she helped me put on an advert and agree not to leave us, until I found a new girl.

I found a few candidates, interview them and came down to a couple of girls. One of them had references. She was already in the UK. Apparently, the family she was in, had decided they actually didn’t need and aupair and she could start asap. I called her host mum and was told she was very good, clean, tidy, good with kids. The lady was a police woman and that gave me the reassurance I needed to go for that girl.

Our perfect au pair did an induction day with the new and told me she looked Ok. I was happy all had gone so smoothly. She looked like a shy girl, educated, polite, nice. She was Italian, from Rome, and had interest in languages. She had quite a good German and Spanish and her English was not bad either.

A week went by and I had the first sign. She came downstairs, crying her eyes out. Her boyfriend had just finished with her. She came to my house, because he lived near by and she thought it was handy; but once he saw her so near, he just ended the relationship. She cried and said she was depressed because of it. I said that she needed to calm down, had a chat with her about men, relationships, how things sometimes don’t go well and that she was so young, she’d meet a lot of interesting people soon and get over him.

As days and weeks went by, I started to realise more things about my new au pair. She smoked – That is something I ask about directly on the interview, I don’t want smokers looking after my kids. She was not tidy at all. I kept finding her clothes and shoes around the house, and having to call her to pick it up and take it to her room. She was not clean. She rarely took a bath and had a musky rusky smell coming out of her, that could be seen from the front door. She chose what to play with my child. She would say she didn’t do princesses, or dolls, or mums, or hairdressers. It had to be either Lego or puzzles. My youngest just wanted to play and would go along with whatever. One day she felt sick in my toilet and left it all messy. The list is endless.

I put up with it for 3 months. One day I called her and said we needed to talk. She ended up telling me that she didn’t really like kids. We agreed that the best, was for her to leave. I found another girl pretty soon and in a week she was gone.

I sat down with my little one and explained the aupair had to leave. My 4 year old said that’s such good news mum, she was really really bad. And I said, oh do you think so hunny? she carried on with what made my eyes water and felt like a stab in my heart, yes mum, she didn’t know how to play and sometimes slapped my hands…

A week later I had a call. It was a future host mum asking for references about my previous aupair. I told her she didn’t like kids, she had slapped my kid and smoked. The lady was very grateful I spared her of such a nightmare. If only the policewoman had been honest with me…


3 thoughts on “The aupair didn’t really fit in…The third

  1. That sounds like a nightmare.

    We had two different au pairs for our kids, but thankfully each of them worked out well for us. We had one from Brazil, one from South Africa, each one staying with us for a year. The interview process for each one was pretty lengthy though, and via video chatting with a number of candidates each time we were able to weed out ones that just would not fit in with our parenting style and with our family.

    Wrote about that here:

    I can’t imagine anything much worse than having someone watching the kids that you don’t trust, that you don’t like, and that you think is treating your kids badly. Doubly bad if your kids hate them too.


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